April Showers.. When it Rains it Pours!

April 19 began the second long week of Jarod's chemo. Monday - Friday 6 hours a day. By Tuesday mid day he was already totally worn down, extremely exhausted and achy. His body had so much built up in his system that he this time around he couldn't fight it off as well as the first time and we knew it was going to be a long hard week.

Tuesday morning before Chemo I had a dentist appointment for tooth that has been bothering me. This is the same tooth I have had problems with in the past. Apparently due to stress I have been grinding my teeth and cracked one of my lower right molars straight through all the way down. This crack going deep into my gums and jaw has become infected and the infection has spread to my entire right jaw line and lymph nodes in the right side of my neck. Having been through this before which turned into a septic infection they put me on strong antibiotics and pain relievers (which I can't take a drive) and scheduled my appointment 1 month out for surgery.

Wednesday Jarod began to feel nauseous and by Thursday he didn't want to talk or eat much and by Friday all he could do was concentrate on not throwing up which took all his energy and concentration. This went on through the weekend. He never did throw up but only because he spent four days focusing on mind over matter.

As sick as he was last week the good news is that his levels are way down and that it is working, it also looks like there will only be 3 full rounds instead of four which is great news.

Yesterday we went in to the doctor they did the full exam and due to how sick he was they called in more anti nausea drugs and put him on a new regiment for the week. They also gave him 2 anti nausea drugs in his veins before the Belomycin Chemo yesterday. He slept he rest of the day and then was up all night unable to sleep as a side effect of the decadrone they gave him earlier. He finally feel asleep around 5:00 am this morning and just woke up.

The new drugs seem to be working because he is weak tired and totally out of it but not nauseous today which is great.

Yesterday my tooth got worse and I called the dentist, they moved my appointment for my surgery consultation up to tomorrow morning. They said the drugs are stopping it from spreading to my blood stream but are not clearing up the infection. The only way to really get it under control is to remove the source so I'll know more tomorrow when we get back from the doctor.

These health issues are effecting every aspect of our life, this disease is not an event or day it is a several month life altering process that effects every conversation, every situation, perspective, goal and outlook, these changes will with out a doubt lead to multiple changes in our lives which we have to have faith will be for the better and lead us down the road we were meant to travel. There's been multiple changes thus far, it will be interesting to see where will be on the other side of this rain storm. As the saying goes when it rains it pours.. and April Showers bring may flowers :) or so we hope!

Chemo Cancer Cuts

Cancer is a disease we cannot see, and most of the time cannot even feel until after the diagnosis which is why the "C" word has the ability to drop any human to their knees out of paralyzing fear. It sneaks up on you whether it is happening to you or someone close to you its hard to believe what you are told by the doctors when everything looks and appears on the outside to be just like it was the day before.

Never the less we believe the doctors, we trust them and we begin the journey and the fight through treatment for the purpose that one day we will find a cure!

31 days after most any hardship would be the beginning stages of emotional healing, the bottom would have hit and with time strength would begin to appear. With cancer each day is progressively different than the day before, its a roller coaster of ups and downs. From the time of diagnosis you face different challenges, and then suddenly when you feel like it," I have accepted it, we should be able to begin to move on" a drastic shift happens, the belief you have been living with the past month based on something you cannot see or feel sudden appears, you become weak, tired, and for the patient their skin changes every so slightly and then they loose their hair. Cancer all the sudden now has an appearance.

Although we knew from the beginning that the aggressive chemotherapy treatment Jarod would under go would almost certainly cause him to loose his hair along with some other side effects. And we understood what would happen, we were not expecting the shift it would cause in our perception.

Monday the doctors told us that any hair he looses will be before the end of next week, so accepting that as fact we go back to our lives, home, work and of course Georgia. We made a routine appointment for Georgia to go to the Spa Tuesday morning to get a bath, hair and nails done, and a teeth cleaning. While GA was getting pampered, Jarod called and said "well, looks like I'm shedding more than Georgia" and he told me how his hair was falling out in clumps and asked me if I would shave it when I got home.

So Jarod picks GA up and after I got home from work we ate a nice meal and then using our DOG CLIPPERS (that we bought for our precious pooch who won't let us use them which is why her haircuts cost more than mine) Jarod and I went into the master bath and we shaved his head. When we were done he said "Well I am officially a cancer patient" At that moment the disease became real it had taken on its own identity and altered his.

I think Jarod looks great with his new due but the not having a choice behind it and knowing why it was done is what made it so hard. So that night I couldn't sleep. This week had already been VERY difficult for me, I just felt SO different and lost.

The next morning when we woke up we talked about how he felt, we were both so so so sad and we knew it was JUST HAIR and we knew it was going to happen but it changed our perspective - it wasn't our choice, not to get sick, not to have your life put on hold, it wasn't your choice to loose your hair. And that's when I thought about kids who get sick how it made us feel as "young" as we are, I cannot imagine being a child of any age victim to a burn, or illness where your choice on how you look and how others see you is taken away. I told Jarod I was going that evening to cut off all my hair and give it to Wigs for Kids.

Our friend Burke had come into town just a few days earlier and had donated his hair to Wigs for Kids, he told me about the organization and I did some research and decided this would be the who I would give my hair to because there is no charge or application for any child with a medical reason to get a wig. So I went to a local, small hair cutting place who was on the website for Wigs for Kids. I called and then had a 6:15 apt, so I went and sat down and one and half hours and 2 ponytails later walked out with the shortest hair I've ever had!

I told the stylist my story and how when my Mom had gotten cancer a few years ago I started growing my hair for this purpose but ended up really liking it long so I hadn't done it yet, but after Tuesday's events I knew it was it right time.

It takes 10 pony tails to make a wig, and they must be 8 -12 inches to cut. My hair is so thick that they did 2 pony tails with the largest size rubber bands and the stylist said it would be close to the amount of 3 and 1/2 normal pony tails. One ponytail was 13" and the other was 14 and 1/2".

I love that the locks are gone and so does Jarod, but the reason I do is that I had the choice to alter my appearance and how others looked at me and by choosing to change my looks on my own a child will be able to change the face of their cancer. In a situation where most days I can't do anything, for a moment I did something and I hope it helps my husband and I hope it helps kids fighting cancer.

If you want to learn more about the cause visit www.wigsforkids.org

2 surgeries, 3 weeks of chemo in 31 days

Today was Jarod's last day of the first cycle of chemo. Over the last 3 weeks he has completed 1 long week (5, 6 hour days) and then 2 bleomycin treatments 1 last Monday and 1 today. With today's treatment behind us, we have successfully made it through the first round and start back over next Monday with the 2nd long week. He was diagnosed 1 month ago yesterday - 2 surgeries, 3 weeks of chemo in the last 31 days we are so grateful and thankful for his strength.

Over all the side effects have been manageable. The doctors are very impressed with how well he is doing. I would say the most severe and noticeable side effects are fatigue and achyness as well as "Chemo Brain" where he feels out of control of his thoughts, and his short term memory is virtually non existent. Over the weekend his head began to get tender and itchy which are signs of upcoming hair loss and today when we were at the doctors appointment Dr. Filip told us that any hair Jarod will loose will happen between now and the end of next week.

Other wise he is holding off the nausea and vomiting so that's been really wonderful! Only a few days of that during the long week not too bad at all!

Matt his cousin came into town and Jarod spent the entire day Friday with him and stayed the night at Marcy and Cleos. Saturday I came down and spent time with everyone. Kaitlin Matt's little girl is so cute and sweet and Jarod had a really nice visit with everyone. After dinner we came home and Sunday we spent the day at our friend Drew's pool which was nice it was a beautiful day.

Dr. Filip has said that as he gets weaker there is a chance his symptoms could worsen but they still think that the first round helps set a standard for how it will be the rest of the time, so although we're not out of the woods the path to recovery physically so far as been smooth. His blood work is showing signs that the markers are going down, if they get down to normal at the end of round 3 then we will not have to do the 4th round. They will continue to monitor them and it will still be several weeks before we know for sure if Jarod will have 3 total rounds or 4. His immune system is a little weak but nothing to be too alarmed over, Dr. Filip put him on an antibiotic because of his dentist appointment today and due to the swollen lymph nodes in his neck over the weekend they did a throat culture today to make sure there isn't a virus or infection going on but it's all very precautionary and preventive to keep him feeling as well as he does now.

Emotionally spirits are good, we are tired and our perspective changes more and more daily about anything and everything but we are blessed and grateful for all the things we have in this life, including the support, thoughts and prayers of friends and family - thank you again.

Lindsey & Jarod

76 days and counting

The first week of chemo is finally behind us! Thursday after Jarod got sick he went in and the doctors gave him a new anti-nausea drug called Emend. It kicked in right away and kept him feeling better through out the evening and early morning Friday. He took another one on Friday and Saturday which held the nausea off and the vomiting which was a huge relief.

Bo and Kristin came into town late Thursday night and spent Good Friday with him at chemo. I had the day off from work so it allowed me to run some errands that I needed to do and then we all meet back at the house around 4. I have been enjoying the weather and power walking a lot so Kristin and I went on a 2.5 mile walk before I started cooking dinner. We ate home and watched a movie. Jarod really enjoyed his time with Bo and surprisingly felt well enough to.

Saturday and Sunday he felt pretty bad - it really is a day by day situation. He has been having the hardest time sleeping since this all began and coming down off the medication made him feel like he had been hit by a mac truck. Although he never threw up over the weekend - he felt similar to being car sick, dizzy, very weak, tired, confused and achy. Saturday we were able to enjoy the sun on our back porch for a few hours before hitting the hay at 8:30!

Easter Sunday was a beautiful day! Although Jarod was too weak and tired to make it to Church (which they expected based on his levels) we still had a nice day. Marcy and Cleo came up for lunch we enjoyed a wonderful ham Tim had given us and I made scalloped potatoes, green beans and rolls and Marcy brought Apple Pie & ice cream. Jarod was able to eat with us and then needed to lie down, he got a nap in which was good and then finally got in the bed at 6 just feeling bad. He didn't fall asleep until around midnight but just felt sick all evening.

Marcy and Cleo brought us the most beautiful red flowering vine for our trellis that they gave us last year. The trellis is outside on the back porch and will make a living wall between us and the neighbors it's going to be beautiful! Marcy had one like it last year in white and they said it grows so fast so in just a few months it should be to the very top of this 8 foot trellis we have! Cleo planted it for me and moved another plant around to the edge of the deck and both look great!

Yesterday was day 8 of chemo and our 2nd doctor appointment they drew Jarod's blood which we got back today and his HCL level is down to 50 and his AFP level is down to 300. That is good and hopefully they will continue. These are the tumor indicators they watch as he goes through the treatment to make sure they are declining, they both have come down from being in the 400's.

He only had 1 chemo drug yesterday Bleomycin and the treatment was about 1 hour - they pushed it a little fast and it made him really dizzy so next time we are going to ask them to slow it down more. Our friend Burke stayed the night with us on his way back to New Orleans from Asheville and it was nice to catch up!

After all of last week and then another round yesterday Jarod is really tired and he says he feels strange so he's at home resting today which is good but he hoping to do some work later in the week.

Both of us have good spirits over all. It's nice that we have a break with 2 short weeks before another long week. The doctors said he is doing really well and most people are far worse than he is so we hope it keeps up like this. I think it's beginning it sink in for us - this weekend it will be 1 month since we were diagnosed.

We're on Day 9 with 76 days to go to the end... not much else we can do but wake up, get up and show up and pray that it'll work and at the end of these spring weeks our lives will begin to go back to normal.

Thanks again to everyone for all the prayers, love, support, visits, calls, cards, and messages it really does help.

Lindsey & Jarod

Crummy Chemo

The first week of Chemo thus far has a been a mix of a lot of different things, the first day Jarod was normal except he was a little yellow and he couldn't get to sleep until 2:00 am. Day 2 he woke upflushed but still felt pretty good but got 2 different rounds of hic-cups the first lasted an hour the and over 8 hours the 2nd time. He was also so wired when he got home on Tuesday that Jarod cleaned our the entire garage, re-routed the outlet for our freezer in the garage, took Georgia on a 1 mile walk and still couldn't fall asleep until after 2:00 am.

Wednesday day 3 he woke up with some nausea but the doctor and nurses were able to get it under control while he was at chemo but by the time we came home he felt like he had been hit by a truck, his whole body was uncomfortable and he just didn't feel well. He couldn't sleep at all Wednesday night because he was so nauseous and early Thursday morning the vomiting started.

We made it the oncologist this morning with out any problems and they hooked him up to his fluids. Dr. Filip has given him 2 additional anti-nausea meds today that will hopefully help but everyone keeps saying the end of the week you just feel crummy from all this chemo and they can help it but not stop it entirely.

Over all I think Jarod is handling the first round pretty well, physically and emotionally. We were able to go to dinner Monday night with some of our friends Jon and Erin, Tuesday Marcy came up to be with him, Wednesday night Adam from our Church came by for a little over an hour to visit and today Marcy came back up to spend the day with him.

We are trying to walk Georgia together 1 mile every night or as long as he is feeling OK. The weather has just changed into spring and the days are beautiful! I really think that for both us being outside in the sun and walking does help both of us for emotional and physical reasons.

Hopefully the drugs will help him get some sleep tonight the first week of chemo is almost over, day 4...80 days to go!